Sunday, August 28, 2011

A Gift.

I am pregnant. 

It isn't the joyous celebration that most people feel when they hear that news. 

It is panic, it is dread, it is wrong. 

I was done having kids. In fact there are many times I question my choice to ever start.

...but along came baby anyways.

Upon learning this news, and after many weeks of attempted denial, I am now faced with a decision. 

Can I do this?

Can I start over again? Am I capable of providing this kid with the resources it needs to not only survive in this world, but to thrive?

For me the answer is simply no. I cannot.

But what I can do, what I will do, is find this child a loving family. I have the power to seek out a family that wants and needs this baby. A family that will be all that I cannot. 

I will adopt this child out. 

I will give a gift.

And in my heart I know this is what is best for all.

2 comments:

Stef at TooMuchToDoSoLittleTime.com said...

Always know that I am here for you when you need a shoulder to cry, laugh or ears to which can you to vent.

Marissa said...

I just discovered this, and you've just given birth to a beautiful little boy, and the gift has been given to some very amazing people. I hope you are able to share with us a bit of what you've gone through and continue to share some photos as he grows up.

I know I keep saying this, but you truly ARE AMAZING K8!